Thursday, October 4, 2007

Where "We close at 5:00pm" means God closes at 8:23pm

Texas. Gotta love it.

I'm telling you, the Texas legal system is nothing to mess with. It's not just that they enjoy killing people, it's that they thoroughly enjoy killing people. Fuck Missouri's slogan as the "Show me" state, Texas has them beat as the "kill me" state because anyone who chooses to commit a violent crime there is basically playing the lottery with Jesus....only instead of playing to win money they'll be lucky to leave the system with a few bad stories about anal rape.

Which begs the question:



Mighty Dyckerson said...

Don't be ridiculous. There are no bad stories about anal rape!

Patti said...

ahhh so you DID pick up a copy of "The Kite Runner" and by "kite" they mean penis and by "runner" they mean....why am I painting a picture for know!

Effortlessly Average said...

Allah is God! God is Great! Yay Allah!

Sorry, I just wanted to increase your NSA readership today, what with the connection between Texas and their buddy, George "we only torture bad people" Bush. Now there's a guy who knows him something about anal rape. All those drugs and booze in college? Yeah, there's a good reason he always looks constipated.

Patti said...

I think it's the "yay allah" bit that will give you away as a lowly american infidel.

Notice i didn't capitalize any of the important words in that sentence. If i lived anywhere else on this planet I'd be shot in the face.