Monday, June 25, 2007

Ironically, not about Karla.

Ohmygod! I was just blindsided by my boss' boss. It's what I like to call a "drive-by thesaurusing" know where the person (who by the way NEVER talks to you to begin with) suddenly decides to tell you very important facts about a very important report that you NEVER (yeah, NEVER) deal with. And these facts of such importance? Well, they need to be told to your boss (who did I mention is out for two days?) verbatim. Your boss, of course, is responsible for these facts AND this report but suddenly.....suddenly it's all on you! Because the proverbial torch of accountability has been passed into your unwilling hands.

No, not passed exactly. More like forcibly hurled without regard for the target, the manner in which it was so nonchalantly flung nor the effects said tossing would have on it's recipient. It was basically vomited at me. And I took it full in the face. All wide-eyed and surprised..."did....did he just....he didn't. No he did! oh god stay focused!"

And that's how I feel right now. Thoroughly soaked in the slimy residue of our President's (not to be confused with The President's) fiscally inspired technicolored yawn.

No warning. No agenda or pie graphs or flow charts or even one goddamned slide show!

Just "Make sure the minutes include our discussions on blahblah interest rate sensitivity blahblah Examiner’s blah profitability blahblahblah net worth blah ratios blah rate scale blah peak spending blahsnoozeblah."

*crickets chirping*


who the.....


Okay, I can do this. But I'm going to need to shower the stench of his bastardized use of Managerial Accounting 101 off my frontal lobe. Then I'll google all of the above words that don't begin with "b" and come up with a nice little sentence or two that incorporates them all.

Or I will call in sick the rest of the week with an inoperable brain tumor; an excuse I've been saving up for just such an occasion.

I might be free to work in Karla's sweatshop afterall....and I'll likely know by week's end.


karla said...

You say this post isn't about me...but can you explain why it contains a photo of me?

Patti said...

Honestly? You're everywhere! I can barely access my regular porn venues without seeing your image OVER and OVER let alone attempting to dredge up some random shot using the search query "dyslexic feline orgasm pooper raisin muffin rage". The internets just aren't what they used to be.